Overheard

They are three in a row; the man walks ahead along the school sidewalk, the bigger sister next, with the little sister behind.
Little sister: AAAAAHHHHH, AAAAHHHHAAAAAA
Man:
Little sister: WAAAAAHHHHHHH
Little sister: A,A,A,AAAAAAAAWWWWWHHHHHHHHH
Little sister: WAWAWAAAAAAAAHHH
Man:
Bigger sister: Quiet, you’ll scare the chickens.
Little sister (passing the hen house): annnhhh, unhhh
Little sister: (sniffle) uhhh, uhhhhhhhh
Little sister: unhhhh, (sniff), uwhhhhh
Little sister (past the hen house): WAWAWAAAAAAAAHHH
Little sister (turning the corner): A,A,A,AAAAAAWWWWWWHHHHH
Little sister (farther down the walk): WAWAWAAAAAAAAHHHHH

(Me, thinking: Ah, I feel for all involved in a tantrum. But this one made me laugh. Sorry, little sister.)

Image from Patch.com

9 thoughts on “Overheard

  1. Ok, that’s hysterical! I think you did a great job capturing the moment in dialogue. I always have to work and rework dialogue and still…it can be tough! Fun slice!

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  2. This is excellent. The way you have nothing to say for the man sets the tone, and I can see relationship between the sisters in your dialogue. Loved this slice and Calvin, natch. 🙂

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  3. You can always tell the real pros. They say exactly what Man said in your slice and just keep on walking. Gotta give Bigger Sister credit for her attempt at a masterful distraction. You had me totally engaged in your story.

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  4. I also like how you include the man but by leaving it blank was powerful. I also agree that reading this made me laugh. Love the addition of Calvin. I agree with Amy. Sometimes I wish I could just walk down Albemarle St, passing the chickens and just scream!! You captured this moment perfectly.

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